Toki ran through the temple gardens. He ran past master Sho who was, as always, sweeping the temple's many stone floors. He ran past the temple pools, past the kitchens, past the temple proper itself and would have past right by Kilda, who was currently enjoying her afternoon tea, had he not tripped on a bit of uneven paving and gone sprawling to the ground. For a moment he simply lay there weeping where he'd fallen, but he soon became worried that Kilda would think he was weeping because he'd hurt himself (which he wasn't) so he gathered himself up onto his knees and knelt while struggling to regain his composure.

"So much energy you put into everything you do when you are upset." Kilda said over her porcelain tea cup as thin as rice paper.

"I hate master Menyo." Toki sobbed. "He is... He is mean." The last came out as a bitter yelp that opened the flood gates of Toki's emotion. He sobbed in the unabashed way of children, scrubbing at his swollen eyes with his grubby fists.

When Toki's tears had reduced to sniffles and hiccups Kilda asked: "What is this?" In her small golden hand she held up her tea cup, now drained of its fragrant jasmine tea.

"A tea cup." Toki replied, eyes wide and curious. Toki jumped, frightened, as Kilda threw the tea cup to the stone pavings. It shattered, sending slivers of fine, glittering porcelain in every direction.

"What is it now?" She asked looking at him with eyes darker and bluer than the sky.

"A broken tea cup." He said simply and he searched her face for approval.

"Why, if it is broken and will never hold tea to refresh me again, is it still called a tea cup?" Kilda slipped her delicate hands into the simple fabric of the wide sleeves of her monk's robes. Her eyes were unaccusing and calm.

"Because it was made to be a tea cup?" Toki hated lessons, even from Kilda. He hated the way no one could just tell him the answers. He hated the way his masters would never say if he was wrong or right, but move on to the next question. Kilda was not even one of the masters of the temple, but she always made him feel better. Not at all like master Menyo who would ridicule him in front of his peers when he made mistakes.

"It is because of your ability to see what this pile of trash could be that allows you to still see it as a tea cup even after it has lost its form. The truth of this object is more than what it appears."

"But it was a tea cup before you broke it. I saw it." Toki wailed. He did not understand what Kilda was trying to tell him and it frustrated him.

"And you were a boy before you began your training with master Menyo. Master Menyo who sees in you all of what you could one day be."

"I don't understand." He sobbed, tears welling up anew.

"You must be more than the tea cup. You must be able to stand against the hands that threaten to push you down and shatter you, taking away your abilities forever. You must be more than simply the receptacle for your soul, Toki. And you must see that master Menyo is more than a mean old man with a temper. He is a master of this temple and he is sharing his wisdom with you in the only way he knows how." Kilda stood, the deep red of her robes contrasted elegantly against her golden tanned skin, but Toki was still too young to appreciate such things. Instead he did as he had learned and began picking up the pieces of broken tea cup. He placed the pieces into the empty wooden bowl near Kilda's feet. He wondered if Kilda had known all of this would happen and had placed the empty bowl there specifically for this reason, but he did not ask. Kilda would only smile and say nothing to such a question anyway.

Once the majority of the tea cup had been cleaned up Toki stood and followed Kilda as she began to walk down the stone path toward the koi ponds. His knee stung where he'd skinned it, but he said nothing. Together they walked over the many tiny bridges that spanned over the strange shapes of the koi ponds. The bright scales of the giant koi beneath them flickered in the dark depths. Finally Toki asked "Why are you not a master of this temple as well, Kilda? Why have you lived in the temple for so many years and yet never attained enlightenment?"

"Who says I have not attained enlightenment?" Kilda asked smiling her wide and easy smile.

"Then why are you not a master of the temple?" Kilda had been at the temple as long as he could remember and had heard rumors from the other children that Kilda could live forever and had been at the temple since the beginning of time. That she had, in fact, built the temple herself.

"Why do you put rice into a rice bowl and tea in a tea cup?" Kilda asked.

Toki sighed, exasperated, at this riddle. Kilda was good at riddles, Toki was not.

"Because a rice bowl was meant to hold rice and a tea cup was meant to hold tea." He said without masking his tone of irritation.

"And what about the plate?" Kilda's bald head gleamed in the strength of the mountain sun, but tiny white stubble could be seen.

"What?" Toki looked up at her back as she began to cross another of the tiny bridges.

"The plate," she repeated. "What about the plate? What sort of food is the plate intended for?" She turned and regarded him with her strange blue eyes and her gentle smile melted all of his frustrations though he was still too young to understand why.

"Well..." he began, uncertain. "Fish, I suppose."

"Only fish?" She asked. "Is it called a fish plate?"

"No," he said defiantly. "It could hold dumplings, or noodles, or cookies, or..." He broke off, trying to think of more foods that could be placed on a plate."

"All these uses one plate has and yet you do not ask the tea cup or the rice bowl to be anything other than what it is intended for." She turned away and finished her trek across the bridge she'd been standing on. "We are bound by the names of the rice bowl and the tea cup. We are bound to believe that because they are the rice bowl and the tea cup, they can be nothing more. The rice bowl cannot hold the tea and the tea cup cannot hold the rice."

"But the plate can hold many things?" He wasn't sure where Kilda was going with all of this, but he was sure he was hungry with all this talk of rice and tea and fish.

"Yes." And for a while she said nothing more. They walked over the last of the bridges and Toki watched the waters for the white koi. It lumbered up out of the depths to his right and he watched its huge shape slip silently beneath the bridge they were standing on before disappearing again into the depths. Looking up again at Kilda's back Toki searched for the places where the loose cloth that hung over her shoulder revealed the tattoo of the white koi. The eyes of the koi on her back were a deep cobalt blue. Bluer than anything Toki had ever seen before aside from Kilda's own eyes. As the loose cloth over her shoulder swayed to her movements and to the whim of the gentle breeze the eye disappeared and reappeared, winking at him.

"The plate," She began again after they had left the koi ponds. "is not bound as tightly as the rice bowl or the tea cup." As they walked Toki realized where they were headed and he smiled. The lone peach tree came into view shortly after they passed through the front gates of the temple. They walked the worn and winding path that would take them upward to the small rocky cliff that over looked all of the known lands of the Daishi monks.

"You wish to be the plate." Toki called from where he struggled past the hardy plants that grew in the cracks in the rock of the mountain.

"Yes, I wish to be the plate." She had reached the peach tree and she plucked from one of its low branches a large, round, pink and fuzzy peach. The wind knocked loose a few blossoms that spun lazy in the heat of the day. They landed on her robes and for a moment Toki saw her as a goddess, glowing with inner light and wisdom and beauty, holding the fruit of the tree of wisdom out for him to take and consume.

"Why do you wish to be the plate?" He asked when he reached her. He took the peach from her outstretched hand and bit into its sweet and juicy flesh.

"People seek out the plate when the rice bowl and the tea cup aren't enough." And suddenly he understood. If she were given the title of "master" people would seek her knowledge because she was a master, not because they had come to see her wisdom for themselves. He looked at her then and watched as she plucked a peach for herself and another she placed in the pocket of her robes and he watched as she bit into its ripened flesh. Her lips glistened with the juice of the peach and he could smell the scent of the peaches they both held, the blossoms that fluttered in the breeze, the clean and clear mountain air, and something else. Something calming and cool and refreshing to his mind. Something he only smelled when he was close to her or to the koi ponds.

"Are you a god, Kilda?" Toki asked as they began their trek back to the temple.

"I don't know." She said soberly. "I am either a god, or I am cursed. I haven't decided which yet."

For a long time they said nothing as they walked back to the temple gates. They crossed the many tiny bridges that spanned the odd shapes of the koi ponds, and threaded their way through the crowd of young monks in training who had been released from lessons for the day. He wanted to ask her if she had really been here since the beginning of time like his lessons mate Shen had claimed, but he was afraid she wouldn't answer. He decided he'd ask when he was sure she would answer him and he wondered if there was a way to trick her into telling him certain truths the way that Maciew of legend had tricked Daishi, the god of the mountain, to tell him the truth of all of his wisdom. This was how the Daishi monks had come to be with Maciew and Daishi working together to teach the first of the students who would later become the first of the Daishi monks.

They passed through to the back of the temple where the gardens and master Menyo waited. Toki felt he could no longer enjoy his peach and so he held it in his sticky hand. He watched Kilda for a sign of a smile or grimace. Something that would tell him if she were angry with him, but her face revealed nothing. Why was she bringing him back to master Menyo?

Instead of walking clear across the open rock paths that would take them to where master Menyo sat, she lead Toki around the wall of tall flowering plants where they could not be seen. She turned and held a finger up to her lips motioning for him to be quiet. They crept silently up to where master Menyo sat and they watched him. After a minute or so Toki was getting impatient. They had been watching master Menyo meditate in silence and Toki was just about to ask what they were doing when master Etsa joined master Menyo.

"What troubles you this day, Menyo?" Etsa was one of the grand matriarchs of the temple. She was elderly and wise and all respected her and sought her wisdom. Even master Menyo would go to her for guidance.

"I am troubled by the boy Toki." Menyo opened his eyes and looked at the ground before him as one who recognizes his failure.

"Such a small thing gives you this much trouble?" Etsa's eyes were an unseeing milky blue, her voice was dry leaves on stone, and her hair was the white light of the stars.

"I am afraid I am not the teacher I need to be. I need more training." Menyo sighed. "I have failed him. I have failed you, master Etsa."

"You will always need training, Menyo." Etsa chuckled. Menyo looked at her questioningly. "We all will forever be the children in training. You and I are master because we know just a little bit more than everyone else, but this does not mean our lessons are finished."

"How do I teach him?" There was pleading in his voice. Desperation. "I try to show him where he has made mistakes, but it only angers him and he runs away. What am I doing wrong, master Etsa?"

"When you fire an arrow from your bow you do not berate the arrow for missing its intended target, you improve your own methods of aim." Etsa began to walk her slow and shuffling way back toward the temple. As she walked she called over her shoulder "Improve your aim, do not berate the arrow."

"But he is a boy, not an arrow!" He called louder so that she could hear him. She turned and though she could not see him, he looked to the ground in respect.

"The arrow is deadly with or without your instruction, but only with lessons learned can the arrow begin to have hope of aiming for itself." She turned again and resumed her walk back to the temple proper.

"I still believe I must return to the peak of the mountain for more training." He said to her and she waved a hand in the air which meant "do as you see fit."

In a rush of panic Toki burst through the tall flowering plants and ran to where his teacher, his master knelt in the grass. He threw himself to the ground before the startled Menyo and cried into the blades of grass beneath him. "Do not leave, master Menyo!" Toki begged. "I will listen better to your lessons! I will try harder to understand!" Menyo was not angry that Toki had eavesdropped and he told the boy so by placing a hand on the boys bald head.

"I believe it is I who will listen better to the lessons which you have to teach." Menyo laughed then and patted Toki's shoulder. "Come. Get up. Let us discuss how we will teach each other from now on."

Kilda stood smiling behind her screen of tall flowering plants as Etsa approached. Kilda held out her golden tanned hand and Etsa took it gently. They walked, hand in hand, the circuit of the path through the gardens behind the temple as they did many years ago when Etsa was only a child. "He will be the next master of this temple, won't he, Kilda?" Etsa's voice was no longer sweet like the dew on mountain grass and her skin was not supple, her bones were brittle, and her eyes saw nothing of the world except for the bright and golden glow of Kilda's presence, but she could also see the what Kilda saw in Toki and she knew the greatness he held within him.

"It is my hope." Kilda squeezed Etsa's calloused and wrinkled hand in her own.

"You've been at the peaches again." Etsa said laughing at her old friend's weakness for the fruit. Kilda removed the peach she'd placed in the pockets of her robe and placed it into Etsa's hand. "Ahhhhh." She sighed feeling the gentle fuzz and taking in its sweet scent as she raised it to her lips. "How lucky I am to still have a few teeth left for such a treat." And she began gumming at the little orb in her hands gratefully.

"Where you soon will go," Kilda said with a touch of sadness to her voice. "I cannot follow. I will not be able to guide you through the afterlife, past those who would seek to eat your soul, and to the couple who will bear you into the world once more. When you are reincarnated, you will forget my name and we must find each other all over again, dearest friend." There were tears now and they rolled down Kilda's beautiful and flawless skin. Where they hit the ground tiny, sweet scented flowers bloomed.

"If it is meant that you and I would meet again, then so we shall. If it is meant to be that this is where we part, then I will ask you to promise me you will care for this temple and not eat all of the peaches from my peach tree in one sitting as I will not be there to make medicine for your aching stomach like I was the last time." And at this they shared a laugh at the memory of the day they met all those years ago.

"Are you afraid of death?" Kilda asked after a great silence had fallen between them.
"Are you?" Etsa countered.

"I fear the loss of you." Kilda agreed.

"There is no loss, there is only making room for new people in your heart. We were not meant to last forever as you were. We cannot stay forever in your temple, gazing into your pools, sharing wisdom, and wiping away the tears of the children who become frustrated with their lessons. Not like you can."

"If I could share my gift..." Kilda stopped, unsure of how to continue.

"No," Etsa laughed. "I am ready for death."

"Of course." Kilda was a bit shamed at her own weakness and Etsa heard it in Kilda's words. She put the hand not holding the remnants of the peach onto the glimmering shoulder of Kilda and smiled. Kilda returned the smile and in the depths of Etsa's unseeing milky blue eyes she saw Kilda's true form and caught her breath. "These are the last gifts I have to offer you, dearest friend." Kilda, the giant koi said to Etsa. Her voice was the deep rumble of thunder and her eyes as blue and forever as the twilight sky. The scales on her body were silver and ivory and she floated there in front of Etsa as if they were deep beneath the surface of one of the koi ponds. "I can show you my true face and I can offer you a place in my ponds with the rest of my closest disciples."

Etsa considered this for a long while before saying saying no. "I have already told you that I am ready for death, Kilda." Disappointment crossed the carved face of the koi Kilda before she resumed her human shape and nodded sagely at her friend. "You have said that." She agreed. "And I will accept your wishes."

"You could..." Etsa said once they had resumed their walk. "You could tell me who you are and why you are a koi unable to die." Etsa had wanted to know the truth of Kilda since she was a small child and now she felt she could ask and actually get an answer. Kilda couldn't help but laugh.

"I am the spirit of this mountain and I have lived in its ponds for many many years. Long before the temple was built and long before men came to settle the lands below this mountain. Long before there ever were any Daishi monks. And it is here that I shall remain until the ponds dry up and the mountain crumbles."

"I'm sorry." There was understanding in Etsa's words for she had grown weary of the world in her short 90 years compared to the centuries of Kilda. "It must be so hard for you to see your loved ones pass on like this."

"Some stay." Kilda said thinking of the ones who had chosen to stay with Kilda as koi in the ponds. She visited them often in her koi form. Them and her husband, the only other koi in the pond as big and white as her. "And I will never find myself without children brought to tears by frustration at their lessons, I'm sure. Not anytime soon anyway."

Together they walked the temple gardens and then they walked the temple proper. And when there was no where left to walk that they had not walked already, they began walking the same places again. Talking and laughing at old memories and new.

Deep beneath the koi ponds Daishi's 6 foot long white scaled koi form traversed the murky depths. He too walked with Kilda and Etsa, but only Kilda saw him. When he grew weary, he retreated to the vast expanse of his koi-self and nestled deep in the cool waters to sleep. Above him the stars reeled across the sky, the sun and moon rose and set in uniform order as they had always done.

Occasionally, he would watch them and occasionally there would be someone on one of the many bridges the spanned the odd shapes of the koi ponds, looking back and into this person he would send a tiny piece of himself so that he too could experience the material world and all of its lessons, including death. He was happy with his latest choice of vessels for a piece of his soul. Gracefully his thin white fins swooped in the water as he channeled in on his vessel.
In the kitchens Toki and master Menyo were making tea. Toki teared up when the tea was too bitter, but master Menyo only laughed saying that perhaps it was his palate that needed strengthening. Toki smiled brightly at his master's change in manner and Daishi felt the happiness spread through him in the cool and calm waters of the koi ponds.

This morning I was walking out to the shuttle that runs from my apartment complex out to the light rail station and I see that the passenger side door is wide open and all six of the dome lights in the van are on. So, knowing that the van has repeatedly broken down I walk up to the gentleman in the passenger seat, say good morning and then say, “Hey, you should probably keep the door shut so you don’t drain the battery of the van.”

The man says, “I just got in the fuckin’ van.” When he realized his cursing didn’t phase me, he continued with, “It’s not strong enough to drain the battery.”

Seeing that my logic is being questioned, I justify my suggestion. “Oh sure it is. In my last two cars I don’t even know how many times my battery died from me having the dome light on.”

The gentleman in the passenger seat begins to scream at me then. About minding my own business and what’s my problem.

I ask him simply, “why are you yelling at me?”

“Why are you telling me what to do?!” The man had the expression normally reserved for two to 6 year olds on his face. The face that says ‘I’m angry because of what you’re saying/doing and I’m going to say whatever I can think of to hurt you so you’ll know not to do those things to me again.”

“Are you four, sir?” I ask. The man stares at me blankly. In a mocking tone I say “Don’t tell me what to do?! That’s what four year olds do. Should I talk to you like your four so that you can talk to me like a normal person?” Or at least that’s what I would have said. I got as far as “That’s what four-“ before he interrupted with “How about this? I’ll shut the fuckin door so I don’t have to talk to you anymore!” and he slammed the door in my face. Aha, he is four.

I have often been accused of getting into business that is not my own or for “starting shit.” These things greatly amuse me. What if Rosa Parks had minded her own business? What if Abraham Lincoln had done his best “not to start any shit”?

I don’t expect I’ll ever get a medal or be in the history books for the little battles I fight with inconsiderate assholes, but I know that I’m affecting the people around me. They’ll go and grumble to their friends; some of whom may agree and chime in when “what a bitch!” is said. But there are also the people who actually have souls. Those people might even feel bad about what they’ve done or said. And the people around me might be spurred on to say something to an asshole that I haven’t gotten to yet. I might encourage someone else to “start some shit” when they see injustice at work.

I told some friends about how I was in an abusive relationship. I didn’t expect for anyone to demand that I go and stay with them until I could get my own place so that I could be in a safe place. I didn’t really expect anyone to know what to say. It was a good thing I didn’t expect these things because everyone simply looked at me, or looked away. It wasn’t their business, I wasn’t their problem, someone else would surely help me.

People are just as willing to make up a story to justify themselves when willingly inconveniencing someone else as they are to drop you on your ass when you need them most, yet you hear all this talk about how “no one does anything” in this country. You can’t have it both ways, people. You can’t talk about all the good you want to do in the world and then when a small chance to do some good presents itself you say it’s not your concern. It’s not your business. Don’t start any shit. Someone else will do something.

When I see injustice, I DO something about it. That’s the difference between someone who truly wants to change the world and people who want to be popular and make popular decisions. People who are more concerned with being liked than making real change in the world.

Do Gods ever get bored? And if they do, what do they do to pass the infinite expanse of time laid out before them?

* * *

Aniki had eaten the last of the dried meat in her pack yesterday and was now digging around a small bundle for crumbs. She'd been helping a changeling named Harlequin find his brother for the last month or so now and he had long ago proven himself to be impatient and a bit selfish at times.

"We should head toward the town, Ki." Aniki looked up into the trees without expression. Harl was on a low pine bough, regarding her with his raven eyes. His voice was old paper and musty attics. They had been circling the village for more than a week now and Harl was getting impatient. He sniffed a barely audible raven sniff and began arranging some feathers on his back. "There was no reason for you to run out of food." He grumbled when Aniki, ignoring him, went back to digging for crumbs. "Plenty of dead squirrels back the way we came."

"I'm not going anywhere with you like that," Aniki said as she popped a few meaty bits into her mouth and doing her best to ignore the comment about the squirrels. "Not if you're going to be talking all the time."

"Fine." He launched himself from the pine bough and as he glided down to the earth, he changed. His feathers slowly became lighter and began to fade into flesh. His beak shortened and became full and deeply pink lips. His little raven legs elongated and widened. By the time his feet reached the ground Harl was standing before Aniki, a tall man with very white skin covered in intricate blue and purple tribal tattoos, tawny colored eyes, and long black hair that reached his waist. He was also as naked as the day he was born.

"Here." Aniki rummaged in her pack and pulled out the clothes she'd picked up for him in the first city they'd visited after meeting one another. They were simple clothes (a pair of worn, but well made trousers, and a simple homespun shirt), but they did the job.

"Don't most humans wear shoes?" He asked flippantly as he pulled the trousers up.

"Not when they can't afford them." Aniki watched Harl struggle with the buttons on his pants for a while before motioning him to come and let her help.

"I'll never get used to all this." He sighed.

"All what?" Pants finished with, she began to help Harl into his shirt.

"All..." He paused as he wriggled his arms into the unfamiliar fabric of the shirt sleeves. "I dunno. Everything has happened so quickly." He watched her olive toned fingers tie the strings at the neck of the shirt into a loose bow. Harl was a long way away from his nest back on the nearly uninhabited planet of Keb and, like most of his race, he didn't like being far from his home.

"You want to sleep in a nice comfy bed tonight, is that it?" A gentle smile played at the corner of her mouth.

"Yes." He pouted. Aniki laughed the way a mother laughs at a child who does not yet fully understand the ways of the world.

"Well then I suppose we can make a stop in the town and restock our supplies." She said. "Turn around now, let me fix your hair." And she began pulling his stick-straight hair back into a braid that flashed purple and blue in the afternoon sun.

Harl, pleased that he did not have to spend another night huddled beneath Aniki's coat in the rain getting his feathers smashed and damp, began humming a song that was as old as singing itself. He, and those of his race, had all long ago forgotten the words, but Aniki knew them. Aniki knew all things forgotten, abandoned, and dead.

* * *

"The town is called Spam." Harl announced after studying the faded and flaking paint on the city limits sign. The old wooden sign may have once stood proudly declaring, to any who cared, the town's name and current population, but it now hung limply by a single nail and it swung noisily in the breeze. The remnants of the red and white paint of the sign could barely be read, but Harl was certain that "Spam" was what it said. Just as he had been certain that the left fork in the path they had come to a few weeks ago was the one that lead toward Belmerrin and the right fork lead toward Kent Basin. And since they were travelling to Belmerrin he had marched with purpose down the left fork in the path leading them two days time in wrong direction. He had also been certain, when they realized they were in the city of Kent Basin and not the town of Belmerrin, that the woman running a finger up and down Harl's arm at the local inn and looking at him with her big lusty eyes was a woman of some high status and not the transvestite prostitute he turned out to be. Aniki rolled her eyes as Harl marched with purpose toward the town that was actually called Squan.

Squan was not deserted and its inhabitants were not sneaking looks at them from behind barred windows. Instead the townspeople were all out in the streets (totaling a whopping five streets in all) selling, trading, bartering, or working the nearby land. The entire place was one big open air market and Harl's eyes lit up like a Solstice tree.

"FREEEEEESH FIIIIIIIISH!" A huge man standing behind several large barrels filled with live fish and writhing fresh water eels or scuttling blue and red crabs was motioning to them as his partner shouted again. "FREEEEEEEESH FIIIIIIISH!"

"Quit yer shoutin', Seamus!" One man shouted to the other.

"What?!" The man called Seamus shouted into the first man's ear.

"I SAID QUIT YER SHOUTIN' WE GOTS CUSTOMERS!" He pronounced it "cust-eee-mers" and he smiled a big and welcoming smile.

"No need to be shoutin' at me, Henry!" Seamus pouted at his business partner. "I can hears ya just fine."

"What can I get for the lovely couple?" Henry clasped his hands together in front of his chest ignoring Seamus entirely.

"Oh, we're just looking for the inn, thanks." Harl waved a hand dismissively at Henry whose face fell.

"Ohhh, I see." He said disappointed. "No time for a nice fresh fish. Caught only this morning in our clean and clear lake too."

"Are those..." Aniki began. "fresh water muscles?"

"They certainly are!" Henry's face brightened and Seamus brought a clear plastic tub from somewhere beneath the wooden plank resting on two barrels filled with things that glinted white, orange, and red in the water as they swam. He dipped it into the barrel with the muscles, filling it with water.

"Let's have a look, shall we?" Seamus said waving a hand at her to come closer.

"It's nice to pick yer own, ya know." Henry added still smiling.

"Make sure you get the very best ones!" Seamus cautioned as he handed the plastic tub over to Aniki who was now pulling several coins from her thin purse. "That's a copper for 20." He said with a smile and Aniki dropped the coin into his thickly calloused hand.

"Some nice ones along the side there!" Henry called and then turned his attention to Harl. "You'll want to head down the main way here just past Silk street." He said conversationally. "That's where you'll find the inn."

Harl thanked Henry and waited patiently as Aniki picked out 20 very large muscles with bright blue and white shells.

"Ahhhhh," Seamus cooed. "All our healthiest and biggest ones I'll wager! She's got a good eye, Henry! Maybe we should hire them to help us out during their stay. What's your name, love?" There was a tinge of red in Seamus's white hair and his eyes were as blue as the sky on a perfect summer's day.

"Ki." She held out her hand and Seamus took it gently in his big pink paw of a hand.

"It is an honor, Ki." He made a short bow, as was the custom of small towns, and then let go. "We are Seamus and Henry, the local fisherman, but I'll bet you've already figured all that out on your own." He laughed a jovial and booming laugh with an infectiousness that made several nearby people smile or laugh or both as if they had heard the joke.

"Yes, come and give us a hand while you're in town!" Henry said, eyes bright, to Harl.

"Why do you want to hire us so badly?" Harl said with much suspicion in his eyes and voice.

"Ahh..." Henry began and looked to Seamus for help.

"Well you see," Seamus began with a bashful expression. "In this town, we believes that every woman should have a ribbon for her hair, and every man should have a good pair of boots." Harl looked instinctively down at his bare and tattooed feet and then glared at Aniki who was suddenly very busy studying her bin of muscles.

"It isn't a lot of work, mind you." Henry put in quickly, unsure of what sort of fights the young couple may have recently had about the young man's lack of boots. "We just need someone to give us a break from the stand every now and then during the day and then someone to help us get the barrels down and up again from the cart. Things like that, you see." He looked expectantly at one and then the other.

"Well, I sure could use some boots." Harl smiled bashfully, still looking down at his wriggling toes.

"Wonderful!" Seamus clapped his hands together and nodded approvingly at Aniki. "You can start immediately. Take your possessions, we'll put you up for the night in our spare room. You can work for your supper as well. After all that is taken out of your wages you'll be left with one silver a week. Fair?"

"More than fair." Aniki smiled and watched the muscles, now accustomed to their new (however temporary) home in the plastic bin, open and close their shells in contentment.

"Yes well," Henry said as he began to lead Harl down the street. "Getting the full barrels down from the cart in the evening and back up into the cart in the morning is not much fun. It isn't a lot of work, but it's hard work."

Seamus laughed his friendly laugh again. "Aye, that it is. Now you leave these with me." Seamus said removing the bin of muscles from her and handing back her coin. "I'll cook 'em up proper come dinner time." He nodded toward Harl and Henry who were already a good ways away from the little stand. "You go on and get settled in and I'll be waiting here when you get back."

* * *

The cottage the two men shared had a "lived in" and comforting feel to it. There were things on every available surface, but the place was amazingly clean. There were even books, piled up in the corner, and they looked like they'd gotten a lot of use over the years. They were mostly poetry, Aniki noticed.

"Now up the stairs is me and Seamus's room-"

"You two share a room?" Harl interrupted.

"Ah... yes." The man smiled, but did not meet Harl's eye. "It's easier that way when you're always hiring people who don't want to pay for the inn or sleep in someone's stables." He laughed nervously. Same sex couples were nothing new in this day and age, but as you headed away from the bigger cities, things usually started to get more and more traditional. Out here in the middle of nowhere a gay couple was a bit of an oddity.

"You'll have to excuse my friend," Aniki said putting a hand on Henry's upper arm. It was thick with muscle though the skin was wrinkled and it sagged a bit with age. "He's not from this system."

"I'm no bumpkin." Harl pouted at Aniki who only smiled.

"Ah! Star travelers are ye?" The man was excited now and looked quickly from one to the other like a dog watching his masters eat.

"Oh yeah," Harl smiled, pleased to have such an eager audience. "We've been all over the 'verse."

"Meredith?" Henry asked. There was something strange in his expression. It was almost sad, almost... desperation. Harl looked to Aniki, unsure of whether or not he should say any more.

"We've been to Meredith," Aniki said. "Why? Did you lose someone?" Meredith was an enormous planet in the farthest corner of the known 'verse. The tiny binary star system it orbited was old and the light of its smaller sun had long ago turned blue. It would still be a number of millennia or so before it's light turned white and the star died, but the legion of militia under the president's command wasted no time getting the place colonized with workers for the mines.

The mines.

There were stories and whispers about the mines of Meredith. People being found dead, going crazy, or just disappearing. Everyone was reluctant to talk about it except for those whose children were taken in the night and even then, no one complained for long.

Henry looked down at his hands and rubbed the big calloused pad of a thumb against the gnarled knuckle of the thumb on the other hand. "Our daughter." The words sat between the three of them like a horror. Harl put a hand up to his mouth. "I'm sorry," Henry said after a pause. "When you've been looking as long as we have..." He trailed off, unsure of how to continue.

"I understand." Aniki squeezed the hand that still rested on his burly arm and then removed it. "What's her name?"

"Clara." The man beamed. "Clara McPherson."

"Long red hair?" Harl asked.

"Yes!" Henry's face exploded into naked hope and fear.

"I remember her. She's working on a transport ship called Stargazer in the scullery. I'm pretty sure I remember her saying something about trying to save up enough to get back home, but I'm not really sure. This was about six months ago." Harl's brow was furrowed as he tried to remember more of the girl, but she had been plain looking and he only remembered her because she had snuck him some sausages when he'd accidentally slept through dinner one night. "She was kind and hard working." He said at last, looking up and into the teary face of Henry McPherson.

"Thank you. Oh thank the Gods." He slipped downward and would have sat on the floor if Aniki hadn't grabbed for a nearby stool for him. He laughed then. "We promised we'd never give up hope, but..." He sighed and closed his eyes as the tears over took him. "It's been so long." He wept.

"She's making her way back to you." Aniki assured the man.

"Yes." He smiled. "I suppose she is." And then he hopped off the wooden stool as much as a man his size could hop, rubbed his face, and cleared his throat. "You'll be sleeping in the room just down the hall. That's Clara's old..." He stopped himself, frowned, then smiled wider. "That's my daughter Clara's room. She'll not mind ye usin' it while she's away." He turned to Harl and extended his hand. "Welcome to our home. There's work boots in the closet by the door and socks in the drawers of your room. Please help yourselves." Henry's meaty paw engulfed Harl's small white and tattooed hand. Handshake done, he turned to Aniki and bowed the short snap forward, customary between a man and an unknown woman.

"If you wouldn't mind, I've got some rather good news I'd like to share with Seamus right about now..."

"We'll put our things down and come meet you at the stand." Aniki said with an understanding smile and nod.

* * *

Harl and Aniki put their things into the little room furnished with a single bed large enough for only one, very short person, a dresser with four drawers, a vanity table with a large oval mirror, and a small writing desk. There was a set of white, most likely handmade, lace curtains on the one window, and there were roses, daisies, and baby's breath flowers painted all along the wall just beneath the ceiling.

"Woooow." Harl said marveling at the handcrafted furniture, quilt, lace curtains, and wrought iron work of the bed frame.

"Come on, they're waiting for us." Aniki tossed her pack onto the bed and removed her coat. She was wearing a tight top without sleeves and a low neckline, close fitting pants, the legs of which were tucked into a pair of thickly soled brown boots that went all the way up to just below her knees. Her skin, like Harl's, was also covered in tattoos, some of which Harl recognized. And he puzzled at them, the way he always did when he saw them, for they were (some of them) markings reserved only for those of extremely high status such as for royalty or for the gods, but they lacked the necessary symbols that would declare which house she belonged to. Even the gods had names, after all. Without a name, her tattoos could mean that she was welcome in all houses the way the tattoos of Gent the hermaphrodite deity of hospitality bore no name of its own so that those who worshiped it could put the name of their own family in. It could also mean that she had no name and no house and therefore, as is the law of Harl's people, was not to be trusted. When he asked her about the tattoos once a long time ago, Aniki had smiled and said that she had received the tattoos before the gods had names and that was why they were plain. And no matter how many times he had said "No, really, why don't you have a name?" she would say no more about them saying that if he didn't believe this part of the story, he'd never believe the rest.

Harl opened one of the drawers in the little dresser, found the previously mentioned socks, and left the room to find the closet and boots. Aniki pulled a thin strip of leather from her pack, pulled her white and shining hair back into a braid, and tied the end with the leather strip. She was retying her boots when Harl came back, stocking feet padding softly on the wood floors, carrying the boots. He looked at her helplessly, holding the boots away from himself between the forefinger and thumb of each hand like two small, but very dangerous animals.

"Come here, Harl." She laughed and helped him into the boots which fit him surprisingly well considering the size of each of the men who owned the cottage. She laughed hard then and Harl looked up from her handiwork puzzled. "I think these are the daughter's boots."

"Shut up!" He kicked at her, but she was, as always, too quick for him and dodged the booted foot.

"Come on, little foot. Let us go and earn our keep." Already past Harl and at the door she waved a hand as if to say "you'll never catch me, little raven man" and was gone. Harl hopped up and ran after her, thick black braid swinging.

* * *

The work was indeed hard. Harl's muscles ached from helping Henry load and unload the barrels onto and off of the little cart for the customers who bought entire barrels. There were, Harl was horrified to find, a lot of people who wanted entire barrels of the McPherson's fish, eels, crabs, and various other types of the pond life. There was even a market for tiny glass balls filled with water and a small bit of the pond's weeds suspended on chains that the townspeople wore as wards against evil spirits. The men had explained that the lake was cursed and they were the only ones who did any fishing so everyone bought as much as they could, kept them in the barrels until the fish were all eaten, and then brought the empty barrels back to either be refilled or replaced. The only ones in town who made as much money as the McPhersons was the Tannens, the family who made the barrels.

Aniki, however, was sitting in the shade with Seamus (the smaller of the two giant men) who showed Aniki how to make food for the fish, crabs, muscles, and for the oysters too; which she had not seen before and salivated openly upon seeing their large white and gnarly shells. "Perhaps one or two as a snack wouldn't do much harm." Seamus had said shucking two or three and handing the half shells to Aniki who savored each and every sandy bite. "Wouldn't want you fainting of hunger before the day is done." He chuckled.

He showed her which creatures cost what and what sort of deals could be made by those who wanted to trade. He watched her busy herself during a lull in business by repairing one of the fishing nets laying in a heap nearby and smiled, but said nothing for he recognized a few of the spirals and glyphs that covered most of Aniki's body. He knew, after seeing them, that he would only have to tell her something once for her to remember it for all time.

Aniki helped feed the fish at dusk, and helped cover them up with big round wooden lids. She helped clean up the stand and watched the cash box for Seamus as he ran to help Henry and Harl load the barrels onto the cart.

Back at the cottage, fish unloaded, horse stabled, cart parked, and dinner started, the four of them smoked the sweet cherry flavored tobacco from a large glass hookah in the center of the common room.

"So!" Henry boomed jovially. "Where are the two of you headed?" He placed a thumb over the mouth piece of the hose to the hookah he was holding while he talked.

"We're looking for something." Aniki said after blowing several perfectly round smoke rings.

"Something?" Seamus asked with a playful glint in his eye.

"My brother." Harl added.

"Oh no." Seamus sat up straight and looked at the pale boy across the low table from him. He knew all too well the hole in your heart a missing loved one could leave.

"Do you have any good leads at least?" Henry was wishing he could give them the same relief they'd given he and his lover only hours earlier, but instead looked on with the pitying expression of those with nothing to say.

"Oh yes," Harl smiled at the men feeling foolish for making them worry. Ravens and crows moved all the time and it was usually not long at all before they were reunited with their clan. Harl's brother, however, had been gone for almost a year now. "I know where he is, but each time I get there, he's moved on already. But he leaves me a message everywhere he's been telling me where he's going to next."

"Well that's lucky then isn't it?" Seamus laughed. "I wish our Clara would send us a note once in a while telling us where she's off to next." The men all smiled small polite smiles that no one noticed except for Aniki who was smoking the hookah with enthusiasm.

"Is this... nendia weed?" She asked as everything she looked at began to take on an unearthly glow.

"Oh, Seamus, you didn't!" Henry scolded the smaller man who was grinning from ear to ear. Harl began to giggle as the weed began to take effect for him as well and Aniki took the mouth piece from him, setting it down on the table gently.

"We're going to go and get cleaned up for dinner then." Aniki smiled at the two men happily puffing away on the strong weed who, all red cheeks and white hair, waved like huge gnomes at them.

* * *

The weed had been stronger than Aniki had remembered it being the last time she'd had it, but maybe it was just time that only made it seem stronger. Either way she ate her food with the enthusiasm of a 15 year old boy, and that night slept like a bear. When she woke she was naked and wrapped in the sheets of Carla's bed. Harl was on the floor, just as naked, with a large purple bruise on his cheek.

She washed as much of herself as she could with the washcloth in the porcelain basin on the vanity table, dressed, braided her hair, stepped over the snoring Harl, and went out to the common room for some breakfast.

Henry and Seamus were already awake and were frying up pork slices and the blue black eggs of the local domesticated birds. Aniki half expected to catch bits of hushed conversation, but instead the two men were singing and laughing; throwing things at each other as they prepared breakfast.

"Watch the eggs!" Seamus scolded gently as he picked something recently thrown out of the cast iron pan. Aniki cleared her throat.

"Ah! Good morning!" Henry boomed to her. "Where is your young man? Still asleep?"

"He is not my young man, and yes he's asleep." Aniki sat on a nearby stool and watched them finish cooking. The two men would smile fondly at one another when they made eye contact and Seamus had a talent for blushing and grinning like a school boy that made Henry smile all the more fondly and Seamus blushed harder and soon the two of them were back to throwing things at each other and elbowing each other gently.

At some point Aniki had begun to set the table for breakfast and was helping Henry with washing the pans when she noticed Seamus was gone.

"My oh my!" Seamus laughed as he came down the hall from where Aniki and Harl had been sleeping. "If Henry was as blessed as your young man we may never leave the house!" Aniki remembered Harl sleeping naked on the floor and stifled a laugh with the back of her wet and soapy hand.

"If I were as blessed has her young man, I'd not offend my young lady with pretending I have no interest." Henry said and he smiled down at Aniki whose eyes, he noticed then, had a deep red color to their irises. They went well with her dark skin and white hair.

"Well he's up now," Seamus laughed. "He'll be joining us for breakfast shortly."

Breakfast was delicious and perfectly cooked. There had been muffins too with big orange berries inside that were slightly tart and went well with the sweetness of the fresh butter. The sun wasn't even up yet, but the four of them laughed and made jokes as they loaded up the cart and otherwise prepared for the work day.

The walk to town went faster than the walk home the previous night had as they traded stories and gave advice.

* * *

A month went by and soon Aniki and Harl had saved up more than enough credits to get them to Belmerrin and back again, staying at inns and eating like kings the entire way.

"I hope you didn't miss your brother." Seamus said as he helped them pack up their things.

"It'll be fine," Harl said as he stuffed the clothes he'd bought for himself into the pack that Seamus gave him. "The last message he'd left for me said he'd be in Belmerrin for at least 3 months and it'll only be another week or two to get there if the wind is low."

"Wind?" Seamus asked.

"He means if the weather is good." Aniki recovered. As open as the couple had been about their relationship, it could be dangerous to declare yourself as anything other than human; someone in the 'verse had taken a shine to those with power or talent. These someone's paid a hefty sum for information about people with power or talent. Also Aniki had no desire to get them into any trouble by giving them more details than they needed.

"Oh I see," The old man smiled at Harl. "I'd never heard that expression before. I guess you really aren't from around this system."

Henry, who'd been in the kitchen preparing food for the road, called to them. "I hope you've got room for all this in those little packs of yours. We may have to keep you working for another month so you can buy one of our horses!"

"Oh Gents," Seamus rolled his eyes, calling the name of the hermaphrodite god/goddess of hospitality who, Seamus was sure, Henry's devotion to was entirely to blame for his "mother hen" behavior. "He does like to go overboard, but it's only 'cause our daughter's been gone for so long. No one to lavish our love and affection on, you understand." Both of them being orphans and having been travelling the 'verse alone for most of their lives they didn't actually understand at all, but they both nodded politely and smiled a bit awkwardly.

"Come on then!" Henry was now in the hall. "That sun's not gonna wait fer you ninnies while you gab away."

Henry and Seamus hugged both Aniki and Harl tightly as they said their goodbyes. The two men looked like worried parents as they made their newly adopted babies promise to visit whenever they were near by. "And you call us dad when you see us again." Seamus said, wipping away a tear from his weathered cheek.

* * *

Belmerri was desolate. Harl's heart sank as he looked at the deserted town. "He said he'd be here." He kicked a stone in the road and it knocked loudly on the side of a nearby house. Suddenly the door to the house flung open.

"Harlquin...?" A young man stood in the doorway.

"Kemmen!" The brothers put down whatever they each had been carrying (Harl his pack, Kemmen his shotgun) and they ran to embrace each other.

"It's about time you caught up!" Kem shouted at his brother after their hug was over. "I was getting ready to leave."

Neither of them noticed as Aniki faded slowly away. Without physical form she hovered above them, watching them, making sure all was well, and then she rose like a shot. She was soon far from the planet, and then she was far from the system, and then she was getting close to another system, and then she was getting close to a planet.

Meredith loomed into view, it's massive brown hulk dwarfing the tiny blue sun that strained to warm it.

In the ladies room of The Broken Heart, Aniki re-solidified and walked out into the nighttime streets of the docs. The various types of ships loomed in the darkness like ancient sleeping beasts. Moonlight glinted off their painted (or not painted) surfaces. Most ships were open with a man or woman sitting by the bay doors negotiating the cost of travel for those who sought it. After asking around a little she found what she was looking for.

The ship was small, but she could tell it was quick and well taken care of. The boy that sat out front looked up and jerked his feet off of the crate they'd been resting on when he saw her approaching.

"We got a fine ship here, miss!" The boy called to her. "Private rooms and the best chef you're likely to see this side of Strelitzia."

"Actually I'm just looking for someone." Aniki said, lighting a cigarette she hadn't known she possessed.

"Oh?" Said the boy. "Well I might be able to help."

"I'm looking for a girl named Clara McPherson."

If there's one thing that pisses me off, it's people who try to live off of the government funded programs like Welfare or even Unemployment. Now granted, both of those programs are great when they help someone who is in a really tight spot, but that money is not meant to be a main source of income.

I have a friend that insists that unemployment is there for her to live off of while she hunts for jobs which she later turns down for one reason or another. I explain to her that it might be a better idea to just get a shit job doing something she hates while she looks so she can have some money coming in. She refuses to do this explaining that she shouldn't have to waste the employer's time working a job she doesn't intend to stay at.

At one point in our conversation she even says that she's not a Jehovah's witness... I ask her what that has to do with our conversation and she seems to be under the impression that they don't pay taxes. Well they do. The only one's who don't are Native Americans.

Mainly I'm pissed because I don't even qualify for unemployment because I work under contract. My boyfriend Alex doesn't qualify because he's essentially self employed. We don't even qualify, but some of our tax money goes into that pool anyway and I refuse to carry the load of some self centered jerk who is too lazy to get her ass off the couch and get a mother fuckin job.

I am posting the chat for those who care to read it. I have changed her name to "self centered jerk" so I don't have to worry about any flak from her in case she comes across this since I fully intent to make this viewable by the public.



(9:13:59 AM) Self Centered Jerk: possible good news
(9:14:05 AM) Noël: yeah?
(9:14:16 AM) Self Centered Jerk: I got a call from someone I’d had a phone interview with at national Jewish
(9:14:20 AM) Noël: woo!
(9:14:35 AM) Self Centered Jerk: he's hoping the position can be approved next week, and will want to bring me in when it is
(9:14:42 AM) Self Centered Jerk: sounds like he's pretty certain he wants me
(9:14:47 AM) Noël: that's awesome :)
(9:14:51 AM) Self Centered Jerk: and might not even post the position
(9:14:53 AM) Self Centered Jerk: !!!
(9:14:58 AM) Noël: woot
(9:15:11 AM) Self Centered Jerk: I sure hope the position gets approved and the offered pay isn't crap
(9:15:51 AM) Noël: well even if it is crap, it's something
(9:15:53 AM) Noël: and you can keep looking
(9:15:55 AM) Noël: hahaha
(9:16:25 AM) Self Centered Jerk: I just really want to find something that I can not have to do that
(9:16:35 AM) Self Centered Jerk: that's what unemployment is supposed to be for
(9:17:02 AM) Self Centered Jerk: so that you don't just have to take the first thing that comes along and waste an employer's time training you for a job you're not going to stay with
(9:17:33 AM) Noël: if you say so
(9:17:46 AM) Noël: I hope you have monies to cover yourself while you hunt though :o
(9:18:00 AM) Self Centered Jerk: that's what unemployment is supposed to be for
(9:18:19 AM) Self Centered Jerk: to give you a little bit of cushion
(9:18:33 AM) Self Centered Jerk: I’ve been taking it, so I haven't completely decimated my savings
(9:18:51 AM) Self Centered Jerk: they're not in the same shape they were a couple of months ago, though
(9:18:55 AM) Self Centered Jerk: that's for sure
(9:19:53 AM) Noël:
(9:19:55 AM) Noël: a job is a job
(9:20:15 AM) Noël: even if it pays great it might still not be a good fit for you or you for them
(9:20:34 AM) Noël: not every job has to be a career or a career move
(9:20:39 AM) Noël: sometimes you just need to make a little money
(9:20:54 AM) Self Centered Jerk: sometimes, yes
(9:20:59 AM) Noël: and with the economy being in the shape that it's in, relying on gov programs isn't the best idea
(9:21:04 AM) Noël: anyway, I'm just being worried about you
(9:21:07 AM) Noël: not telling you what to do
(9:21:17 AM) Self Centered Jerk: but unemployment is supposed to help so that you can still try to find something in your field that can be a career
(9:21:43 AM) Self Centered Jerk: I’m not worried, but I’m also not taking something that will make me miserable before I need to
(9:23:24 AM) Noël: I dunno I just don't believe in living off of gov. programs
(9:26:37 AM) Self Centered Jerk: I pay my taxes, so if I really do need one, I’m going to use it
(9:26:41 AM) Self Centered Jerk: I’m not a Jehovah’s Witness
(9:26:52 AM) Noël: what does this have to do with religion?
(9:26:53 AM) Self Centered Jerk: they both don't pay taxes AND often use government programs
(9:27:06 AM) Noël: and it's a waste of funds that could be going to someone in a far worse situation
(9:27:20 AM) Noël: there are people who would be happy to have any job at all
(9:27:37 AM) Self Centered Jerk: and I don't have to be, because there is this government program
(9:27:43 AM) Self Centered Jerk: it is there for when I need help
(9:27:45 AM) Self Centered Jerk: and I do
(9:27:46 AM) Noël: not wanting to be miserable is not a valid reason to take money from people who really need it
(9:27:53 AM) Self Centered Jerk: because even after I get a job, I’m going to need my savings
(9:28:06 AM) Self Centered Jerk: it's also wasting an employer's time and money
(9:28:39 AM) Self Centered Jerk: employers don't like it any better when somebody they hire leaves after a couple weeks or a couple months
(9:29:01 AM) Self Centered Jerk: and the fewer people that have to take the first job that comes along, the less that happens
(9:29:14 AM) Noël: you have the right to leave a job if it's not right for you
(9:29:23 AM) Noël: it's a law in this state actually
(9:29:31 AM) Self Centered Jerk: it's really difficult to find another job while you're working
(9:29:37 AM) Self Centered Jerk: I’ve been there and tried
(9:29:42 AM) Noël: do you have any idea how many people are DYING for a job that pays even $10 an hour right now?
(9:29:44 AM) Self Centered Jerk: first off, you don't have the time to be looking
(9:29:52 AM) Self Centered Jerk: and secondly, it's difficult to get away for interviews
(9:29:53 AM) Noël: and that's what the internet is for
(9:30:01 AM) Noël: you don't have to go and walk in and talk to people anymore
(9:30:04 AM) Noël: you can just send your resume
(9:30:12 AM) Noël: take a day off from the job you hate to interview
(9:30:20 AM) Self Centered Jerk: and thirdly, people don't like interviewing or hiring someone who is leaving a position they have quite as much, because they worry that the potential employee will do the same to them
(9:30:34 AM) Noël: you're not going to change my mind on this
(9:30:38 AM) Self Centered Jerk: most places don't give you a day off for 6 months
(9:30:44 AM) Noël: I don't agree with people that live off of welfare
(9:30:56 AM) Self Centered Jerk: this isn't welfare
(9:31:03 AM) Self Centered Jerk: it's a short-term tool
(9:31:05 AM) Noël: and I don't agree with people that live off of unemployment when they have job opportunities they're not taking for selfish reasons
(9:31:07 AM) Self Centered Jerk: not a way of life
(9:31:20 AM) Self Centered Jerk: I haven't gotten job opportunities yet!
(9:31:29 AM) Noël: and everyone pays into the unemployment pool
(9:31:32 AM) Self Centered Jerk: yes
(9:31:33 AM) Self Centered Jerk: I do
(9:31:35 AM) Self Centered Jerk: I have been
(9:31:39 AM) Self Centered Jerk: and I’m using it
(9:31:54 AM) Self Centered Jerk: because I was fired from a job that I worked hard to get and was told was secure for two years
(9:31:56 AM) Noël: you're taking money from me too and from all the other people working their own dead-end jobs they hate to get a little money coming in
(9:32:07 AM) Noël: I don't even qualify for unemployment because I work under contract
(9:32:22 AM) Self Centered Jerk: I’ve worked very hard to actually have a career path, and this is a tool that's available for me to not have to derail it
(9:32:34 AM) Self Centered Jerk: I’ve worked not in my field before, it's really hard to get back in after working out of it
(9:32:39 AM) Noël: but I still have to pay for people who are too lazy or too selfish to find a job and earn the money for themselves
(9:32:52 AM) Noël: I want to have money to do all the things I like to do too
(9:33:01 AM) Noël: but I was working at DSW for a while
(9:33:06 AM) Noël: waiting for something better to come along
(9:33:08 AM) Noël: and it did
(9:33:35 AM) Self Centered Jerk: and if I do happen to take something that I absolutely hate that's remotely in my field, it gives me skills that I really don't want people to know I have, because it makes them think that I’ll do that for them, too
(9:34:11 AM) Noël: that's completely ridiculous
(9:34:14 AM) Self Centered Jerk: once you whore yourself out, whether from lack of choice or because you think it won't matter for the future, it's difficult to convince people you don't intend to do that again
(9:34:17 AM) Self Centered Jerk: no, it's not
(9:34:19 AM) Noël: yes it is
(9:34:21 AM) Self Centered Jerk: I’ve had it happen
(9:34:33 AM) Noël: SelfCenteredJerk no one ever said you HAD to stay at a job once you're hired
(9:34:38 AM) Noël: and if you really don't like it, quit
(9:34:41 AM) Noël: find something else
(9:34:50 AM) Noël: get a couple pay checks and quit
(9:34:52 AM) Self Centered Jerk: I’ve told you, it's not that easy when you have a job to do so
(9:34:53 AM) Noël: or just keep looking
(9:34:58 AM) Self Centered Jerk: not in the jobs I’ve been at, at least
(9:36:04 AM) Noël: doing a good job at the job you have and showing them what you can do
(9:36:08 AM) Noël: can either get you a raise
(9:36:16 AM) Self Centered Jerk: and keep you at something you hate
(9:36:20 AM) Noël: or it can get you the satisfaction of knowing that you can do better
(9:36:23 AM) Self Centered Jerk: or in a location you hate, or with people you hate
(9:36:34 AM) Noël: that's just stupid SelfCenteredJerk
(9:36:39 AM) Noël: you're at a job to make money
(9:36:41 AM) Noël: not to make friends
(9:36:51 AM) Self Centered Jerk: no, Noel, I’m going to say that you're being stupid
(9:36:54 AM) Noël: and if you don't hang out with everyone from work
(9:36:56 AM) Noël: so what?
(9:36:58 AM) Noël: so fucking what?
(9:37:00 AM) Noël: it's a JOB
(9:37:04 AM) Self Centered Jerk: I’m saying its better that we don't discuss this
(9:37:05 AM) Noël: it's not home
(9:37:22 AM) Self Centered Jerk: it's where you spend almost half your waking hours
(9:37:25 AM) Noël: you know I'm right and that's why you can't talk about it with me
(9:37:31 AM) Noël: you're taking money from people who need it
(9:37:34 AM) Noël: and you're being selfish
(9:37:35 AM) Self Centered Jerk: and it's a good percentage of suicide reasons, I’d be willing to bet
(9:37:38 AM) Noël: OMG
(9:37:42 AM) Self Centered Jerk: OMG yourself
(9:37:45 AM) Noël: that's even more ridiculous
(9:37:49 AM) Self Centered Jerk: you're being selfish and unreasonable, too
(9:37:52 AM) Noël: it's a job, SelfCenteredJerk
(9:37:56 AM) Noël: no I'm not
(9:38:00 AM) Self Centered Jerk: no, it's a career
(9:38:04 AM) Self Centered Jerk: yes, you really are
(9:38:07 AM) Noël: if demanding that people earn their own money is selfish
(9:38:11 AM) Noël: then I don't know what to tell you
(9:38:11 AM) Self Centered Jerk: there's a difference between a job and a career
(9:38:12 AM) Noël: hahahaa
(9:38:21 AM) Noël: and when you need some money sometimes you just have to take a job
(9:38:25 AM) Self Centered Jerk: I have been earning my own money
(9:38:28 AM) Noël: you can't always have exactly what you want
(9:38:32 AM) Noël: that's not how life works, babe
(9:38:35 AM) Self Centered Jerk: and I have a cushion so that I can look for the job that I want
(9:38:39 AM) Noël: I haven't always had the jobs I've wanted
(9:38:46 AM) Noël: but I've earned every cent in my pockets
(9:38:51 AM) Self Centered Jerk: actually, there is this nifty government program in place that I happen to qualify for that means I can
(9:39:14 AM) Self Centered Jerk: I seriously hope that someday you get fired and are offered unemployment
(9:39:15 AM) Noël: and I refuse to take hand outs and live off of gov programs when I can get a job somewhere to get something coming in
(9:39:24 AM) Noël: I don't qualify for unemployment
(9:39:26 AM) Noël: and even if I did
(9:39:29 AM) Noël: I would never take it
(9:39:31 AM) Self Centered Jerk: someday you could
(9:39:33 AM) Noël: maybe
(9:39:34 AM) Self Centered Jerk: and I call you a liar on that
(9:39:39 AM) Noël: that's fine
(9:39:43 AM) Self Centered Jerk: if you have kids you'll take it
(9:39:49 AM) Self Centered Jerk: if you have bills you'll take it
(9:39:49 AM) Noël: but I will never take money from people who really need it
(9:39:51 AM) Noël: never
(9:40:03 AM) Self Centered Jerk: okay, we seriously need to stop talking about this

Dating Humor: How To Be The Perfect Girlfriend

I got in touch with my biological sister Autumn yesterday! I'm so excited! She and I were on the phone for 3 hours last night catching up (thank GOD for free nighttime minutes). We've agreed to keep in touch and hopefully we will visit and things like that. The funny thing is she looks nothing like me; blond hair, blue eyes, white skin, hehe, but we have a similar smile and expressions. I have another half sister out there too (Morgan). I haven't gotten in touch with her at all yet, but I'm hoping to in the near future. It would be so cool if the three of us could get together at least once, you know?

In other news, the job goes well! Everyday all my coworkers tell me how awesome I'm doing and they all hope I stick around for a while. Hooray!

I'm taking up the piano again :D I am very excited about this. I've been on craigslist a few times and have seen some good looking full size keyboards for anywhere between $75-$200. I tried to grab the $75 one, but the guy sold it to someone else (>_<). That BASTARD! Moving on... I have researched a bit about lessons too, but I'm kind of more concerned with the keyboard at the moment.

I need a friggin hair cut! I've got this cute bob going right now, but my bangs need a trim. I think I'll go see my stylist this weekend and get her to fix my bangs, lol. I like what she did with them last time; I'll post pics after the hair is cut.

I got in touch with my biological sister Autumn yesterday! I'm so excited! She and I were on the phone for 3 hours last night catching up (thank GOD for free nighttime minutes). We've agreed to keep in touch and hopefully we will visit and things like that. The funny thing is she looks nothing like me; blond hair, blue eyes, white skin, hehe, but we have a similar smile and expressions. I have another half sister out there too (Morgan). I haven't gotten in touch with her at all yet, but I'm hoping to in the near future. It would be so cool if the three of us could get together at least once, you know?

In other news, the job goes well! Everyday all my coworkers tell me how awesome I'm doing and they all hope I stick around for a while. Hooray!

I'm taking up the piano again :D I am very excited about this. I've been on craigslist a few times and have seen some good looking full size keyboards for anywhere between $75-$200. I tried to grab the $75 one, but the guy sold it to someone else (>_<). That BASTARD! Moving on... I have researched a bit about lessons too, but I'm kind of more concerned with the keyboard at the moment.

I need a friggin hair cut! I've got this cute bob going right now, but my bangs need a trim. I think I'll go see my stylist this weekend and get her to fix my bangs, lol. I like what she did with them last time; I'll post pics after the hair is cut.

Hey all my buddies! Please visit this link, click on the VOTE button, and then click the FIND BAG SUBMISSIONS button and enter in each bag number to have a look at my submissions one by one, or enter my first name and middle initial (Noel R). If you end up making your own too, let me know so I can vote on yours :D. Remember! You can vote once a day so visit as often as possible to vote as many times as you can!

If you want to look the bags up by their number, the numbers are:
26095
26149
26161
26177

I had to post this video in my LJ. I just had to. I don't know if anyone knows what kanzashi is, but it has to do with hair ornaments. Now this video is tsumami kanzashi which is basically glue and fabric that are folded and glued into these really cool pieces that can be made into barrettes or hair ornaments or what have you. I know I can totally do this, so I want to keep the video around for when I have more of a craft fund. Right now my craft fund is just enough money for me to cringe and say "maybe I should go check the craft bin... see what kind of left overs I have before I head to the store..."

Anyway, I found this when trying to answer a question about sewing in one of the craft communities I'm a part of and thought that some of my buddies might enjoy the video too.



If you're wondering, the sewing question had to do with tension. I recommended that she read her instruction manual because it could just be that either she's not loading her bobbin correctly or she's got her top and bottom tensions too far apart (you can't have the top tension be super tight and then have the bottom tension super low, your stitches will either pull right out of the piece or the thread will start snapping every five minutes). Also it's important to read instruction manuals, that's why they're there, for us to read and be informed on all the many functions of the piece of machinery we've just purchased. It isn't enough to just start playing with the damn thing and hope that all your sewing endeavors come out properly, haha. The girl with the question had some pretty cool revamped tank tops and such though. She's got design talent, no doubt.